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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29964426">Muses</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IreneSpring/pseuds/IreneSpring'>IreneSpring</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Flower Shop &amp; Tattoo Parlor, Angst, Developing Relationship, F/F, Florist!Olivia, Fluffy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Romance, Small Towns, but still a lot because I have not been replaced by a body double, mentions to Olivia's canon backstory, not as much dialogue as one would expect from me, tattoo artist!alex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:21:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,624</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29964426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IreneSpring/pseuds/IreneSpring</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex Cabot starts a tattoo parlor in a small town to make a statement. She quickly finds herself enchanted by Olivia, the local florist. However, even as they grow closer, both seem hesitant to take a definitive romantic step. </p><p>When they both learn information about each other's history, will it drive them apart, or finally bring them together?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Olivia Benson/Alexandra Cabot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It has been ten days since I last published Cabenson, which is like two years for me, so I apologize. My excuse is that I've been working on a challenge for both Cabenson and Barisi, and all the entries are going to be a lot longer than my dialogue prompts were last month. So on the upside, you will get a lot more content if you like my writing, but you will have to wait a little longer between stories. This story is probably going to be five chapters, and as of now totals around 4,500 words. </p><p>I'm honestly pretty excited to post this, because I've never written an alternate careers AU for any fandom every, so I figured if I was going to do that, I might as well go all in with one of the most popular ones. I hope you like it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Alex Cabot is easily one of the best tattoo artists in the country, and she knows it. Her realism is masterful, and one would be hard pressed to find anyone unsatisfied with her work. She takes her craft incredibly seriously, and attacks each piece with a dedication that has already vaulted her to near the top of the pack before the age of 35. And now she’s ready to begin the next phase of her career.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a move that’s either gutsy or arrogant, depending on who you ask. She’s going to set up her shop in upstate New York, forsaking entirely the hub of New York City. She knows she’s that good: people will ignore the plentiful shops and make the extra trip to seek her out specifically. It’s not just a hunch, either. She wouldn’t have done it if she didn’t have enough clients to keep her busy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, the confidence she’s earned battles with her anxiety as she unpacks her boxes. She’s never worked in a small town before. She doesn’t know the protocol. She’s also aware that even she can’t work </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>the time, and is unsure how people will react to her full sleeves of tattoos. It occurs to her that it’s entirely possible that she avoided the city to avoid her parents, and might have accidentally moved to a town filled with them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stores can be moved. Everything in the new one that she walked through earlier that day had been shipped from her previous one in Florida. But she doesn’t want to move. She wants to make her statement. She’s organizing her closet when she hears a knock on the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who is it she called?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Olivia!” a voice answers. Alex does know any Olivias. Tilting her head to one side, she opens the door. In front of her is a gorgeous woman with a bouquet of colorful flowers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not the worst way to start her new life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, thanks,” Alex says, awkwardly taking the offered flowers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem. Consider them a housewarming gift.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mean to be rude, but have we met?” Alex asks. She’s very confident they haven’t. She would have remembered those eyes and that smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t think so. But my friend Fin runs the local grocery and told me he saw a new person. I knew it was this house because he described your tattoos, which means you probably work for the new tattoo parlor --not many people here have tattoos-- and this is the only one of the three previously unoccupied houses that’s near it.” Alex blinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me guess,” Alex says. “You run the local police force.” Olivia laughs, and Alex smiles at the sound.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t, actually. Though I considered it. But then I read about all the systemic racism and propagations of rape culture and decided ‘fuck that noise.’ It’s a long story. I’m the town florist. Hence the flowers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Well. Duh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So please tell me that you do work at the tattoo parlor so I don’t feel humiliated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually own it, so yes. I don’t have anyone else working for me right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, good.  You know, I never thought we’d get one of those around here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m making what </span>
  <em>
    <span>Inked </span>
  </em>
  <span>magazine terms ‘a bold move.’”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. Anyway, I am indeed new here. My name’s Alex. If everything goes well, I should be here a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good luck,” Olivia says sincerely. “I’ll see around. Stop by if you ever need flowers for like your mother’s birthday or something.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Won’t be a problem</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Alex thinks to herself, but waves as Olivia walks away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once she’s back inside, Alex gets out her sketchpad. She feels inspired, and it never hurts to come up with more ideas. She wishes she could draw Olivia, with her bright eyes and smile. She should really practice her portraiture before opening, and it would mean she could see Olivia again. But that would be creepy. Not to mention that Alex really has to focus. She can think about beautiful florists some other time. Her eyes settle on the flowers. She thinks her flower art is actually quite excellent, but that doesn’t matter. She sits down and picks up a pencil.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As could be predicted, Alex doesn’t have a lot of cause to get flowers. She doesn’t have any family worth talking to, and her two closest friends, Casey and Rafael, both still live in Florida. Consequently, she doesn’t see Olivia again. But just in case, she has a whole script played out in her head for what she’d say if she bumps into Olivia at the grocery store or just walking around town. So far she hasn’t had the chance to use it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alex manages to keep herself busy. She has several large pieces to design and ink, after all. But the publicity hasn’t really started, so she still has free time. And no one to spend it with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But one day, when she’s showing a prospective client her book, the woman’s hand stops on a flower design.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s incredible,” she says. “Do you always make your drawings by studying real flowers?” Inspiration strikes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, Alex doesn’t. Internet references get the job done. But she could. She absolutely could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After she works out a deal with the woman, Alex immediately heads to the flower shop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi!” Olivia says with a smile. “You showed up. Special occasion?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, actually. I know we only met once, but I’m here to ask you for a favor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shoot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was wondering if you didn’t mind if I drew some of your flowers while you’re closing up. I’ll come by after hours so there aren’t any customers to disturb. You can have an employee babysit me or something,” Alex says, trying her best to sound casual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. You just met me, what if I tried to steal something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Are you going to steal something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Of course not. But you have no way of knowing that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I trust you,” Olivia says with a shrug. “And please keep in mind I’m not saying this to diminish trust or anything, but it won’t be an employee at the shop. I like to stay around after hours. Just to relax. So I’ll still be here.” Alex finds herself smiling. Like an idiot. In front of a woman who she just met, but who apparently trusts her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. Thank you so much, really. I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool. I close around 8:00, so maybe show up then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a date.” Alex forces herself not to freeze, but she can already feel the anxiety creeping in. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A date. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It’s not a date. It’s an inconvenience that she’s imposing on Olivia because what? She has a crush? The beginnings of a crush? When she reaches the door, she forces herself to turn back and wave at Olivia, who is still smiling. Maybe it wasn’t an inconvenience. Seh resolves to allow herself to go with the flow for once in her life.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Irises and Lilies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alex and Olivia meet up and establish a routine, while also keeping the conversation light and friendly. <br/>Until Alex is stopped on the street by a man seeking to warn her about Olivia's reputation within the town.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I decided to make this story four chapters instead of five. However, I didn't shorten the story at all, I just decided to push two chapters together into one in order to avoid having one longer chapter followed by a very short chapter.</p>
<p>Trigger warning for references to sexual assault and alcoholism. It's nothing beyond Olivia's canon history with her mom, but it is there.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>8:00 the next day comes far too slowly. Alex arrives at the flower shop at 7:45, and dutifully waits on a bench across the street until 8:00 sharp. If Olivia is amused by Alex’s exact timing, she doesn’t show it, instead gesturing for her to enter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So what are you thinking of drawing?” Olivia asks. “I have a chair that can be placed pretty much anywhere, or you can take some flowers into the backroom. I just have to move them to make sure their arrangements don’t come apart.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You really don’t have to do that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know I don’t have to. We don’t know each other, but I rarely do anything I don’t want to do. It’s no problem.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.” Alex selects an arrangement of deep purple irises and Olivia plants the chair in front of it. Once Alex sets to work, quickly drawing light, curved lines in roughly the shape of the petals, Olivia walks away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alex finishes the irises fairly quickly. She can’t do any more than sketch with her pencil, so there’s no way to work on her coloring. What she could really use is something else to draw. Looking around, she inevitably finds herself drawn to Olivia. Olivia, who hasn’t shown her any significant attention since Alex first sat down. Instead, she drifts around the store, sometimes listening to music, other times muttering something to herself as she adjusts flowers. At one point, she just sits down and closes her eyes, and Alex can hear her deep, steady breathing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instinctively, Alex begins to sketch the outline of Olivia’s face. It’s such a distinct aesthetic: the way Olivia seems at peace, surrounded by the colorful flowers. She spends the next while trying to get every detail exactly right. Olivia gets up and starts looking over some papers at one point, but by then Alex already has the image in her mind. Soon enough, it’s completely dark out, and the only lights are coming from Olivia’s office.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t it too dark to be sketching the flowers?” Alex almost jumps at Olivia’s voice. Slamming her sketchbook closed, she turns to face her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I, uh, I got the outline down. I didn’t need the reference anymore,” she rushes, hoping her excuse is convincing. Olivia just nods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You seemed very quick to shut that notebook.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Force of habit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, I’m not a thief either. You don’t steal from me, I won’t steal your designs.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not that, it’s…” Well now Alex has dug herself into a hole. All because she couldn’t stand the thought of Olivia believing that Alex didn’t trust her. Alex has only known her for a day. Alex </span>
  <em>
    <span>shouldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>trust her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My flower drawing is… not ideal,” Alex lies. It’s a white lie, a cover more than a deception, really. “I don’t want you to see it before you gain proper respect for my art as a whole.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The woman who immediately mentioned an article in </span>
  <em>
    <span>Inked </span>
  </em>
  <span>magazine about herself is proud?” Olivia snarks. “Who would’ve thought.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Another force of habit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I read the article you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When you mentioned it, I was interested. So I read it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re kind of a big shot.” Alex laughs at that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I suppose.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well it’s an honor to be in the presence of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>sensation</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Be quiet.” They laugh together for a moment, and Alex is struck by the realization that in her life, she has never connected with anyone as easily as right this moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was going to lock up,” Olivia says finally. “Are you ready to head out?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, and hey,” Olivia says, almost as an afterthought, and hands Alex a pale pink lily. “You can take this.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alex freezes, looking from the flower to Olivia and back again. It has to be a come on, it has to be, but Alex really doesn’t want to assume.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” she manages.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So you’re not tempted to steal,” Olivia responds, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See you tomorrow?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Normal human beings do not do this. Alex is very aware of that. Normal human beings do not work twelve hour days and then immediately go to a secondary location to do what they essentially do all day at work. And all the “when you love what you do you never work a day in your life” excuses could still not explain why Alex finds herself so consistently at Olivia’s shop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not about the work, it’s about Olivia, and the absolute worst crush Alex has ever had in her entire life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The flowers do not help. Every night, Olivia gives her a different flower to “prevent theft.” Alex is 95% sure it’s flirtatious, because how could it not be? But on the other hand, maybe it’s just “their thing” in the way that some friends have secret handshakes. She doesn’t want to mess up, because if she does mess up, she’d have to move to another country, or at least another state. So instead, she toes right up to the line between friendship and romance, but does not cross it.  Olivia seems more than willing to do the dance with her, making cool statements every time the tension becomes nearly unbearable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sticks around long after she finishes drawing. If Olivia knows that it doesn’t take two hours to draw a flower, she doesn’t say anything. Olivia also never shares what she thinks about when she sits around the shop, although Alex does wonder what could be so interesting about the scattered arrangements that she feels compelled to stay so late.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They order dinner frequently, because Alex forgets to eat in her haste to get to Olivia’s. She always pays, because she’s taking up Olivia’s space after all. They rarely talk about anything substantial. </span>
  <span>Instead, Alex tells stories of memorable clients: such as the woman who wanted a tattoo of Iago from </span>
  <em>
    <span>Aladdin </span>
  </em>
  <span>and Zazu from </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Lion King </span>
  </em>
  <span>rubbing their beaks together, or the man who wanted a coverup of a tattoo on his shoulder that read “live fere or die.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Olivia tells her about all the customers who suddenly discover new allergies, or the brides that demand towering arrangements with three days notice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then they sit in companionable silence, Alex drawing and Olivia playing some game on her computer until it becomes clear they both need sleep. And there’s always a flower, and something of an unspoken understanding that there is something between them, but now is not the time… yet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Aside from their respective occupations, Alex really knows very little about Olivia, something that never really stood out to her until one day, when she’s making her standard walk to the shop and a man grabs her by the arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see you going there all the time,” the man says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And that’s your business how?” Alex shoots back, wrenching her arm free.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ever notice that you’re the only one that ever goes in there after closing time?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who the fuck even are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My name’s Trevor. I work at the bank.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not from here, are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. I’m not. Care to tell me why it matters to you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just figured you should know that you’re dealing with the town shut-in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“People talk. I don’t, but other people do. And they will, if you keep going over there. It could hurt your business.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My business is doing fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For now. But eventually you’ll need local patronage.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m leaving. Say one more insulting thing about Olivia and I’ll find out where you live and tattoo a mustache on your face while you’re sleeping.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know her mother was a drunk, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It's none of my business.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She wasn’t, and then she was, and nine months later, there’s Olivia. We could always hear the fighting coming from that house. Her mother said she was a demon spawn. People are superstitious around here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“People can go fuck themselves,” Alex hisses. “If what you’re saying is even true.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ask her,” Trevor says, and then he just walks away.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>0/10 points to Trevor for being terrible. Don't worry, everything will go fine when Alex does actually talk to Olivia.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Answers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Information is revealed, and Olivia and Alex's relationship changes for the better.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And now, some dialogue and some romance. Pretty much the entire story has been leading up to this point. I hope you enjoy it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Everything okay?” Olivia asks when Alex finally walks in. “You’re late.” Alex shrugs and sits down at a small table in Olivia’s backroom/office. Olivia sits down in the chair next to her, still looking at Alex with an inquisitive expression. Alex shrugs again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Some asshole stopped me in the street, don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Trevor something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He grabbed my arm and everything. Asshole.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’d he say?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing important.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alex.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously, Liv, don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did he tell you I’m a child of rape?” At Olivia’s knowing expression, Alex nods slowly and Olivia sighs. “Fuck.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not a big deal,” Alex says, somewhat relieved to have it out in the open. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you’re a good person. This doesn't contradict that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m being serious. I don’t fucking care.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re acting like you care.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t care about your history, I care that some random guy thought it was his business to talk about it, and I care about the many ways I’m planning to break his face.” That manages to make Olivia smile, even for a moment, and Alex feels accomplished. When the smile fades, Olivia stares at Alex, searching for something. Alex stares right back, willing her to find it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re the first person who’s said that who I actually believe,” Olivia says. Alex wants to jump up and pump her fist, but settles for a small smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? How many people have said it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, Trevor, for one.” Olivia chuckles ruefully. Alex just narrows her eyes, mentally calculating the risk-benefit of purposefully misspelling a word if Trevor ever comes in for a tattoo. “My mom, on her good days.” Olivia scoots closer to Alex, and Alex instinctively takes her hand, squeezing it. “For a couple weeks, she’d be nice, but then I’d overhear her say things like she wished she had just killed me when I was a baby.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, she's dead. So it doesn’t really matter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It does matter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t blame her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, you can. You don’t have to, but if you do, that’s fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Al-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Liv, she decided to have you. To keep you in her home. When she did that, she was obligated to work through her shit so that you could have a good life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She didn’t see it that way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well she’s wrong. And so is Trevor. And so is this whole town. It’s not your fault. You deserve good things.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re welcome,” Alex states with perhaps more emphasis than the statement justified, but she’s rewarded when Olivia leans her head against Alex’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God, it feels good that you know,” Olivia sighs. “For months, I’ve been worried that someone will tell you, and you’d be all awkward around me, and it would ruin everything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ye of little faith.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t understand,” she insists. “I was careful. I didn’t want to push too far, didn’t want to cross any line or anything, because I was worried that you'd react poorly and I’d lose even more.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even more what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alex, I gave you a fucking flower every day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I realize this is the worst possible timing, but while we’re getting everything out in the open, here it is: I have romantic feelings for you. You’re smart, and you’re gorgeous, and you’re talented, and you’re the only person who has ever shared my space without feeling like a disruption. And talking with you, even though I only scratched the surface of everything I wanted to say, was the highlight of my day.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alex is convinced she must have heard Olivia wrong. Because as much as she wanted to hear that, and so much more, it seems too good to be true. One moment, her day is about shitty clients and a town full of assholes, and the next moment some of her best dreams are literally coming true. Alex gets confirmation that she must have heard right when Olivia starts to pull away, staring at the table. When Alex realizes what is happening, she takes Olivia’s hand again, bringing her other hand to Olivia’s cheek and leaning in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alex never had a muse. She found the very idea cliche. Not to mention she likes to think she has enough originality that it’s not necessary. But when she finally learns for a fact what Olivia’s lips feel like against hers, she thinks she gets the hype. She could draw great romantic scenes fueled by just this memory. Fuck it, she could create any kind art with this memory: poetry, music, anything. And it’s truly a sign of how far gone she is that she truly considers saying this all to Olivia.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re amazing,” is what she settles for, whispered when they both pull away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Likewise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think you want to know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Alex admits, grinning as Olivia tucks strand of hair behind her ear before quickly stealing another kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Try me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Since the first flower you gave me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously? Why didn’t you say anything?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I don’t have any elaborate and reasonable excuse like you did-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I should hope not,” Olivia mutters.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s pretty standard, unfortunately. I liked you, but as much as I wanted to kiss you, and take you on dates, and everything, I didn’t want to ruin the only good relationship I’ve managed to make here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re right, that’s pretty standard.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s common because it’s logical,” Alex objects. “You should take it as a compliment.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well then.” They enjoy in the moment for a little while longer, Olivia’s fingers carefully tracing the tattoos on Alex’s forearm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about your family?” Olivia asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m curious. No one’s visited.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t really talk to them anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, at 17 I announced my intention to go to art school, got my first tattoo, and came out as a lesbian all within a month, so there’s really no way to tell which was the final straw.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go big or go home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pretty much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be. I’m pretty happy with how things turned out.” Alex leans in for another kiss, enjoying the pleased hum from Olivia as she pulls her closer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, me too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, one last thing, in the interest of full disclosure, I may have lied to you when we first met.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My flower drawing skills have always been excellent.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No fucking way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wanted to spend more time with you, so I came up with an excuse. Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I forgive you, especially since I also deceived you.” Alex raises an eyebrow and Olivia laughs. “I do like spending time here, don’t get me wrong, it relaxes me, but I never stay so late. I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d stop coming if you felt like a burden, and like you said, I wanted to spend more time with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god, we’re both idiots.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seems that way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At least we fit together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s a good way of seeing it,” Olivia agrees, and then kisses Alex again.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I very much enjoyed writing this chapter. I love hurt/comfort and will not apologize.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Black-eyed susan in black and gray</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alex and Olivia enjoy life together and plan for the future.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My one statement is that I love fluff and will not apologize.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next year is a whirlwind. Alex feels completely out of her work-dominated comfort zone, but she’s more than okay with that. Life is good. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She and Olivia still see each other daily, but this time, there’s no avoiding a subject. And also there’s a lot more kissing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alex has taken the initiative to repay Olivia for all the flowers. Not monetarily, obviously, but through other small gifts. A box of chocolates here, a stuffed animal there. Tokens of appreciation that are only sort of because Alex’s competitive spirit feels the need to be equal in all things with Olivia.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So, out of curiosity,” Olivia says four months in. “If a woman you were dating were to inquire about getting a tattoo from you, would you charge her?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you interested?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I might be. You really are insanely good at what you do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like you’re one to talk. What are you thinking about getting?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you think?” Olivia asks, with a pointed look at the fresh bouquet of flowers on Alex’s table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fair enough. Any flower in particular?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know. I never bothered to learn the meanings. Please don’t rat me out to the flower gods.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your secret’s safe with me,” Alex assures her with a smile. She thinks for a moment. Romantic tattoos are inadvisable: if worst comes to worst and she and Olivia are separated, she doesn’t want Olivia to have to live with a reminder of a painful memory on her arm forever. That leaves her with the limited options she still knows off the top of her head. She’s very lucky that one matches.  “I have an idea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A black-eyed susan done in black and gray.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What does it mean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Justice.” Olivia seems to consider before nodding slowly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No color?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The flower’s yellow, which you mentioned isn’t your favorite color. Besides, I’m confident it will still look bright and recognizable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And that is how Alex found herself at her parlor at 3am in the morning, painstakingly trying to ensure that she does the best work she’s ever done while also not taking too long and hurting her girlfriend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s also why Olivia buys three new sleeveless tops, so Alex thinks it was 100% worth the lost money in ink.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once they start going places together, whether it’s to a restaurant or to the movies or the farmer’s market, Alex does see what Trevor was talking about, and she resents it. She wasn’t born for this kind of passive aggressive pseudo-niceness. Her parents had drilled her in the ways of etiquette, but it had never taken, and it wasn’t taking now. She makes it her personal mission to glower at all of them. If that meant that they are seen as the tragic, cursed child and the mean, tattooed lesbian witch, so be it. Alex would actually like it if they all thought she could curse them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you,” Alex whispers one night, lying in bed, as she traces her hand down Olivia’s body. Olivia looks at her for less than a second before she responds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.” It’s not the first time they’ve said the words, but it still feels new. Intellectually, she knows that they will eventually lose their power, but Alex can’t imagine it and doesn’t care to. She just knows that she wants to feel like this for the rest of her life. And, for the first time ever, there’s a decent chance of that happening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you feel about the idea of marriage?” Alex asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you proposing?” Olivia responds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“More like… gauging your interest, for somewhere down the line.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I always wanted to get married. You know about the string of unfortunate engagements in my early 20s.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not jaded?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t really love any of them the way I love you.” Alex smiles and pulls Olivia towards her for a kiss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, you’re open to the idea?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Very open. So open that if you had proposed right now, I would have said yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For the record, I would be open to the idea of proposing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good to know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And Liv, when I’m proposing, you’ll know. I will have a speech composed of three sonnets ready.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I look forward to it.” Just when Alex thinks Olivia has drifted off to sleep, she hears a whispered, “Al?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you think about leaving this place?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leaving?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you have your shop-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me where you want to go, and we’ll go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like you said all that time ago, babe, I’m a big shot. I’ll get business anywhere.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just want to be happy,” Olivia explains, though Alex didn’t ask, and doesn’t need the answer. “You make me believe I can do that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me where you want to go, and we’ll go,” Alex repeats.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you ever been to California? I went there for two months once and it was gorgeous.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“California it is.” Alex expects to feel a rush of nerves. A sense of fear, given how little she’s thought about this plan and how certain she is that it’s going to happen. But she doesn’t. They’ll figure it out. They can plan tomorrow. Next week. Right now, all that matters is Olivia, and the love Alex feels.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you,” Olivia says again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.” Alex settles into her pillow with images of sun and palm trees in her mind. She’s ready for the next phase of her life to begin.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And they lived happily ever after, the end.</p>
<p>I had to google flower meanings, but I think I found a good one.</p>
<p>Tell me what you thought about this story in the comments! Thanks so much for reading!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>One day Alex will learn that not everything needs to be accomplished via scheme. However today is not that day.</p><p>I'll probably stick to my standard schedule of updating every other day. I already have this one finished with only the need for minor edits. I don't usually post stories that I don't have finished, so I don't end up leaving something posted but not completed, which is why this took so long.</p><p>Thanks so much for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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